


Ever With Me

by Nebula5030



Series: Merwaine Oneshots [22]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: (Although it really doesn't come up all that much), Admittedly he doesn't get one - because of the whole...stabbing bit - BUT HE GETS HIS HAND HELD, Blood, Canon Era, Canon-Typical Violence, Gwaine Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), He gets stabbed, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Merlin Needs a Hug (Merlin), Pre-Relationship, Present Tense, Slight Merlin whump, Yeah he's not having a great time right now, mild language warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:13:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23732137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebula5030/pseuds/Nebula5030
Summary: While recovering after being stabbed during a bandit attack, Merlin realizes there's one person he wants to stay with him more than anyone.
Relationships: Gaius & Merlin (Merlin), Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin)
Series: Merwaine Oneshots [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1055507
Comments: 45
Kudos: 423
Collections: Merlin Rarepair Hub





	Ever With Me

**Author's Note:**

> I tried an experiment for this one: writing in present tense. I've done it a couple times but haven't actually posted a fic with it so we'll see how it goes!
> 
> ~
> 
> _She was there through the darkest times,_  
>  _When the sunlight didn’t seem to shine,_  
>  _Took my hand and she led me through,_  
>  _The maze I had fallen in to,_  
>  _And in the centre I stand with you._  
>  _I feel alive again, because I know that she is ever with me._ \-- _Ever with Me,_ Damh the Bard 

With a low breath, Gaius leans back from the patient cot and lowers his hands to his lap, having finished tying the bandages that now cover the horrible wound on Merlin’s stomach. “There. That’s all I can do for now,” he says, turning to look at Merlin’s face. “The rest is up to you, my boy.”

Merlin doesn’t quite hear him. He’s awake, but it’s a slight thing, and even now he can feel the clutches of unconsciousness trying to claim him. He can’t quite remember what happened – all he can hear is the sound of clashing steel, see glinting metal –

Not seeing someone until a moment too late –

But as much as he wants to be swept off to oblivion to escape the pain, there’s something stopping him.

Something’s wrong – something’s _missing –_

He doesn’t know what.

But it just hurts so much –

Gaius gives him a moment, but when Merlin doesn’t respond, he stands with a sigh and begins to clear the surgical tools from the table next to him.

And suddenly the space next to the cot feels too empty. Too vacant. It feels _wrong_ to not have anyone there. Merlin doesn’t want for someone to _not_ be there. Someone needs to be there.

And his mind picks one person who he wants to be there more than anyone. Someone he _needs_ to have there.

Someone who’s been by his side whenever he’d needed it, who made sure to always give him pilfered treats from the kitchens if he “happened” to have them, who always had a story that could make him laugh and help him forget his troubles, who wanted to spend time with him simply because it was _him,_ and who followed him into danger many times over all because he’d simply asked.

Merlin needs him here. He’s what’s missing.

“Gai’s?”

Gaius turns from where he’s clearing his supplies, surprised to hear Merlin speak, before immediately coming to Merlin’s side and putting his hands to Merlin’s arm. “Yes, what is it, my boy?”

And Merlin can barely speak, but he takes in as deep a breath as he can and manages to breathe out a single sound just loud enough for Gaius to hear, “Gwn.”

“You want me to fetch Gwen?”

Merlin tries to shake his head, but it’s barely a wobble if anything. He takes in a breath to try again, and he forces out as strong as he can through a crack in his voice, _“Gwaine.”_

Gaius looks surprised. “You want me to fetch _Gwaine?”_

And Merlin tips his head in a nod, and breathes out a single, “Please.”

Gaius’s eyebrows rise, but they fall a moment later. Gaius nods as he stands. “Alright. Just a moment, my boy,” and then he’s heading to the door.

~

Outside of the physician’s tower, a king, a queen, and four knights wait for news of their friend.

It had been a bandit attack in the forest. Cliche, really, and should have been easily dealt with and only a minor hassle.

They thought Merlin had been safe – hidden away at the side where no one could see him. And he had been – hidden away and helping in his own small way that Gwaine knew about but Merlin didn’t know Gwaine knew about.

But Gwaine can’t unsee it – can’t unsee the fateful moment that led to where they are now.

Merlin leaping out of his hiding spot to warn Leon of the bandit behind him –

Only to get run through by the bandit _he_ didn’t see – before any of them had a chance to stop it.

Gwaine screws his eyes shut with a small groan – trying to force the image and the sound to leave his mind. That already happened – dwelling on it won’t do anything to change what is happening now. But he knows that it’ll stay with him forever, no matter how much pain seeing it again brings him.

He can only hope they made it back in time – that Gaius is able to work his magic (figurative or not, Gwaine doesn’t care) and keep Merlin with them.

… or perhaps they’ve already lost him, and Gaius is only composing himself before coming outside and breaking the news.

There had been so much blood -

The door opens.

All of them turn to it – Arthur stops in his pacing, and Gwen raises her head from where it’d been resting on her clasped hands. The knights all straighten upright, and Gwaine can feel his heartbeat grow ragged in his chest – already dreading the worst.

Out steps a weary Gaius. He looks them all over for a moment, his expression infuriatingly unreadable, before turning to one knight.

“He’s asking for you, Sir Gwaine.”

Gwaine blinks in surprise, so do the others – Merlin’s asking for _him?_ – but he’s up and through the door barely a moment after Gaius has stepped aside.

It’s a horrible sight that greets him. Red-stained medical supplies litter the table by the patient cot, and the room is filled with the iron scent of blood.

And Merlin in the patient bed, bandages wrapped tight around his bare torso.

Merlin’s head turns at the sound of the door. It takes a moment for his gaze to focus on Gwaine, but once it does a smile passes over his face. _“Gwaine,”_ he breathes.

Gwaine is to his side in a moment, kneeling there and looking Merlin over.

Up close it seems to be worse: his pallor is nearly gray, and dark bags are under his eyes. Gwaine can make out the lines of pain on his face, and the exhaustion that seems to fill his entire being.

But he’s _alive._ He’s alive and that’s all Gwaine could ever want in that moment.

His throat catches, and he finds he doesn’t know what to say – what he _can_ say to express the sheer relief he feels in that moment.

But he manages a watery, “Hey there, Merlin.”

Merlin smiles weakly – as if he can tell Gwaine doesn’t know what to say.

His fingers twitch, and he slowly and shakily lifts the hand closest to Gwaine.

Gwaine notices, and he takes Merlin’s hand in his and gives it a small squeeze.

Merlin’s weak smile widens, but then he lets out a low breath as his eyes flutter shut.

He lets out a shuddering breath, and a single tear of pain leaks out of one eye.

Gwaine wipes it away with his thumb without thinking, before taking that same hand and resting it against Merlin’s cheek.

“It’s alright. I’m here, mate. I’ve got you.”

Merlin swallows without opening his eyes, and he tilts his head towards the hand to his head.

His own grip on Gwaine’s hand tightens just a bit.

And Gwaine finds he’s not sure why he’s here – there’s nowhere else he would rather be, of course – but to find he’s here because Merlin asked for him? For _him?_ Rather than Gwen or Arthur or anyone else?

Why _him?_

He hears steps behind himself, and turns to see Gaius beginning to clear the bloodied supplies.

“Will he live?” Gwaine asks, suddenly afraid that Merlin _won’t –_ that this is just a chance to say good-bye -

Gaius looks up and meets Gwaine’s eyes. A small smile comes to his weary face. “He should. He will need to rest for several weeks, but I believe with proper care he will be just fine.”

Gwaine slumps in relief. He runs a hand over his face as he lets out his own shuddering breath. “Thank you, Gaius.”

Gaius’s weary smile widens a bit, before he resumes his task of cleaning. “Just stay with him for now, Gwaine. He asked for you, after all. I’ll let the others in to see him after Merlin’s gotten some rest.”

And Gwaine finds that that confusion has returned. That question as to why Merlin asked for _him._

But Gwaine only nods, and a small smile comes to his own face as he turns back to Merlin – his eyes still closed and his breathing low and slow. “I can do that.”

A few minutes pass without change - Merlin lying in the bed, Gaius cleaning, and Gwaine sitting with his hand in Merlin’s. But Gwaine’s never been one to handle silence well, so he begins to sing softly. It’s a song his mother used to sing to him when he was a child, and he doesn’t quite remember how parts of it goes, but he hopes that Merlin can hear and appreciate it either way.

He thought Merlin had fallen asleep, but Merlin’s eyes flutter, and Gwaine knows he didn’t imagine the fleeting smile on Merlin’s lips.

~

The others come through one at a time later. But by then Merlin is well and truly asleep, so they all simply whisper their well-wishes to him and try to let him know they’re there – a squeeze of the hand, a touch to the shoulder, a kiss to the cheek. Some do stay and sit with him for a few minutes, taking hold of the hand not in Gwaine’s, but all of them have things to do, and before long they’re leaving with a quiet request to Gaius to let them know if there’s any change.

Gwaine stays for as long as he can – and as Arthur leaves, the king only gives him a nod and a quiet murmur of, “Take care of him, Gwaine.”

And even after night falls, Gwaine is still there – curled up in the chair and sleeping against the backrest. He wakes suddenly every couple hours, and for a moment he’s afraid that something’s happened to Merlin, but when he feels Merlin’s breath and sees that he’s still only resting, he relaxes and returns to sleep once more.

His hand still resting on Merlin’s.

~

Merlin wakes to sunlight coming in through the windows into the infirmary.

The light is soft, and Merlin finds he can blink his eyes open without much issue. The sun has already risen, but his mind is muddled enough he can’t tell what time of day it is quite yet. The pain in his stomach is still there, but it’s significantly better than it had been the night before.

Maybe his magic has something to do with that.

“Merlin?”

Merlin turns his head at the voice.

Gwaine’s curled up on the chair, and he lifts his head from where it had been resting on the backrest. He turns fully towards Merlin, and takes Merlin’s hand in both of his.

Merlin just noticing that one of Gwaine’s had already been there.

But Merlin does smile a bit – weak, but still there. “Gwaine. Hi.”

“Morning,” Gwaine says, giving Merlin’s hand a squeeze. “It’s good to see you awake.”

Merlin looks around the workshop, brow falling to confusion. “Where’s Gaius?”

“On his rounds,” Gwaine tells him quietly. “He should be back soon.”

“Oh,” Merlin says, and he lets his head fall back to the pillow to stare at the ceiling. “That’s good.”

He turns his head to look Gwaine over – more properly this time.

He looks ragged - eyes bagged and expression exhausted - and Merlin can tell he's still wearing the same clothes he had been wearing under his chainmail during the patrol yesterday.

“You look awful,” Merlin manages to say.

Gwaine can’t help but laugh. “Been worried about you, mate,” he responds. “Haven’t had a chance to freshen up yet.”

Merlin’s weak smile widens for a moment.

Then a thought occurs to him and his expression falls to shock. If Gaius is on his rounds, that means it must be morning – not later in the day like he thought.

And if Gwaine woke up in the chair and is still wearing what he’d worn yesterday –

He looks at Gwaine, quickly glances to the chair, before settling on Gwaine’s face again. “Have you been here _all night?”_

Gwaine shrugs as if it’s not that big of a deal – and Merlin can see the he wince he tries to hide due to the motion. He is _definitely_ feeling sore from sleeping on the chair like that. “Yeah.”

Merlin’s shocked expression doesn’t leave. “That can’t have been comfortable.”

“Well, I’m going to let you in on a little secret, Merlin,” Gwaine says with a grin as he leans forwards. “It wasn’t.”

Merlin laughs -

But then his abdomen flares in pain, and he can’t help but take in a pained gasp.

Gwaine’s expression becomes horrified. “Oh, _shit,_ Merlin, I’m so sorry -”

“Not your – fault,” Merlin gasps out. He takes in a few steadying breaths – shaking but as deep as he’s able to – before turning his head and giving Gwaine an apologetic smile. “I just need to remember to be careful.”

Gwaine still looks likes he’s horrified over the fact he made Merlin laugh, but then he does smirk bleakly. “I’ll keep my quick wit to a minimum. I promise.”

Merlin lets out a much softer laugh at that. “I appreciate that,” he says. But then he swallows, and realizes how dry his throat is. “Can – can I have some water-?”

“Oh! Yeah, yeah,” Gwaine says. He reaches down to his side and grabs a skin, before popping off the cork and handing it over. “Do you need help sitting up?”

Merlin shakes his head. He lifts his head and takes a sip, before falling back to the pillow with a sigh.

Gwaine talks quietly for a bit: letting Merlin know how the others are doing and how they all made sure to stop by the night before, and how they are all undoubtedly going to want to talk to him now that he's awake once more. Merlin asks about the song Gwaine was singing last night, and that leads into Gwaine telling the story of how his mother used to sing it to him when he was hurt or had just woken from a nightmare.

Merlin finds he doesn’t have the energy to contribute to the conversation much, but he lets Gwaine’s voice and story wash over him and take him away from the pain.

And for a few minutes, he even forgets about why they’re there entirely.

Gaius returns later. Gwaine stays even as Gaius changes out Merlin’s bandages and checks the wounds, and even helps keep Merlin steady as he works. Gaius gives Merlin some light food, which is followed by a mixture of herbs to help him with the pain – by putting him to sleep once more for a few hours.

Gwaine helps Merlin lower himself back to the bed, and even goes the extra mile - much to Merlin’s exasperated amusement - by tucking the linen blanket over him, all while careful to avoid the wound in his stomach.

Merlin can already feel the herbs taking effect, and his eyes start to grow heavy. 

But he takes in a breath and forces his eyes to stay open for a just a few moments longer.

“Gwaine?”

Gwaine meets his eyes. “Yeah? What is it?”

Merlin's eyes droop again, and he has to take a moment to take a breath and force them back open. “I know you’ve already been here for a while, but,” Merlin looks up to meet his eyes, and he hates that he can feel his cheeks warm just a bit at the question he’s about to ask, “Could you stay here a little longer?”

Gwaine gives Merlin a reassuring smile, before pulling the chair closer to the patient cot and taking a seat once more. He takes Merlin’s hand and gives it a squeeze. “I’m here for as long as you want me.”

Merlin smiles, and by now the pull of the herbs is too strong to resist, so he lets his eyes close and lets out a low breath, ready to be swept to sleep once more.

There’s silence for a moment, but then Merlin hears some shifting.

He feels lips softly brush his forehead.

“Sleep well, Merlin,” Gwaine murmurs. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”


End file.
